thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
