is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
