i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
