I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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