woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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