Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my phone needs a breathalizer
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
