that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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