You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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