I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
