Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
