its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wish they made helmets for livers.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
