you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize