Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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