Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
