We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just found puke in my bra..
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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