His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
