We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
