you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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