i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Green mimosas i think yes
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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