hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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