some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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