we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
