Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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