I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
