I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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