dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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