note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize