another moral hangover. fuck.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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