I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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