Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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