Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
