Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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