Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
