I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
