of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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