i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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