I want to make a zoo with you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
