im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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