every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
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i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
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My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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