Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
