eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
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the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
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went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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