Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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