Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
