Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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