pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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