even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
