who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
