Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
