Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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