he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
