I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
