Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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