I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
