Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?

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(404): What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning? http://tfl.nu/h6ji

Replies (19) Good night (1754) Bad night (746)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem

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(267): I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem http://tfl.nu/6rep

Replies (9) Good night (4367) Bad night (1165)
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(330): View more from Ohio

the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.

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(330): the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom. http://tfl.nu/2arl

Replies (12) Good night (5031) Bad night (1064)
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(954): View more from Florida

Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children

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(954): Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children http://tfl.nu/fl6q

Replies (7) Good night (2346) Bad night (1592)
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(602): View more from Arizona

just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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(602): just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober http://tfl.nu/68n1

Replies (10) Good night (3160) Bad night (1127)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."

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(603): U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite." http://tfl.nu/bn94

Replies (6) Good night (3787) Bad night (785)
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(206): View more from Washington

Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.

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(206): Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this. http://tfl.nu/t9dh

Replies (4) Good night (2536) Bad night (1093)
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(205): View more from Alabama

decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais

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(205): decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais http://tfl.nu/hn97

Replies (9) Good night (2612) Bad night (876)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Found your dick twin last night

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(402): Found your dick twin last night http://tfl.nu/4id4

Replies (5) Good night (2222) Bad night (826)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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(865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu

Replies (10) Good night (756) Bad night (1414)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.

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(919): Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate. http://tfl.nu/d4gp

Replies (10) Good night (821) Bad night (477)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.

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(304): I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything. http://tfl.nu/5k96

Replies (16) Good night (1556) Bad night (593)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays

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(314): Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays http://tfl.nu/dq5p

Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (394)
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(289): View more from Ontario

God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.

(519): View more from Ontario

Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.

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(289): God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore. (519): Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor. http://tfl.nu/xdad

Replies (8) Good night (1315) Bad night (454)
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(619): View more from California

I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.

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(619): I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good. http://tfl.nu/rh08

Replies (2) Good night (639) Bad night (406)

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