If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌