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• (303): View more from Colorado

  am i morally bankrupt?

  (970): View more from Colorado

  no. its just the recession

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)

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• (619): View more from California

  Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?

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  27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game

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• (516): View more from New York

  Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.

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  23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You and the dog were competed for the water dish

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  How did you get him out of the shower last time?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Hold me and let me compliment your butt

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