am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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