Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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