note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
