How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
