K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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