look no pants
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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