so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
