He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
