they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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