i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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