don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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