the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
