Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
