dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
