I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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