I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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