It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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