HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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