So drunk its hurt
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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