He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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